A guide for navigating the condition in new relationships
Heather M. Jones is a freelance writer with a focus on health, parenting, disability, and feminism.
Type 2 diabetes requires constant management, such as choosing foods carefully, staying physically active, regularly checking blood sugar, and sometimes taking medication. If one or both partners in a romantic relationship has type 2 diabetes, it’s important to communicate needs and boundaries pertaining to the condition and how it is managed.
Read on to learn how romantic couples can be affected by type 2 diabetes and for some tips on navigating dating with diabetes.
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Good communication, respect, and boundaries are important in any relationship, but when one or both partners have a chronic condition like type 2 diabetes, it becomes even more so.
When both people understand each other and act as a team, it makes managing the condition easier and the relationship stronger.
Managing type 2 diabetes requires certain lifestyle choices like eating nutritious foods that limit blood sugar spikes and being physically active.
This may make common date activities, such as going out to eat, tricky — but with some planning ahead of time, you can have an enjoyable time while still taking care of your health.
If you are planning on going to a restaurant:
If eating out seems too stressful or complicated, try planning a date in which you make your own food, such as a picnic in the park. Or choose an activity that doesn't involve food, like a museum, a movie, or window shopping.
Since exercise is an important part of managing type 2 diabetes, consider planning a date that incorporates physical activity, such as:
No matter what activities you plan, make sure you take everything you need with you, such as your blood sugar meter, medication, and snacks.
Your blood sugar doesn’t care that you are on a date. Blood sugar spikes and drops can happen, so you need to be prepared ahead of time. It’s a good idea to pack a kit to keep with you in case your blood sugar becomes unbalanced. Your daily diabetes kit may include:
If you are traveling, such as going on a vacation, you will need to pack a more extensive kit.
Both partners in the relationship have needs that need to be understood. In addition to typical relationship communication, some diabetes-specific topics are likely to be discussed.
What Is Type 2 Diabetes?
Don't assume the partner without diabetes knows what the condition entails or has accurate information. It's helpful to give them an overview of type 2 diabetes, provide resources they can use to learn more, and be open to any questions they may have (that fall within your comfort level).
What Managing Type 2 Diabetes Entails
Discuss your diet and exercise plans and how your partner can support you with them. If you use injections, be mindful that your partner may feel squeamish about needles, and give them a heads up before you do it.
What to Do in an Emergency
Make sure your partner knows the signs of low blood sugar (hypoglycemia), including:
Tell your partner what to do if your blood sugar drops too low or if there is another diabetes-related emergency.
How Type 2 Diabetes Affects You
Type 2 diabetes can cause changes in mood and emotions. Knowing that this can happen and why may be reassuring to your partner. Your partner may also want to discuss how your mood swings affect them, and together you can discuss what to do when they arise.
Changes in mood that escalate to verbal abuse, violence, or other harmful behavior are unacceptable. If this occurs, you will need to find a way to manage it.
How Involved Do You Want Your Partner to Be?
You may want to manage your condition as a team, or you may prefer to do so independently. Make sure your partner knows what support you need and when you would prefer they step back.
Some people prefer to tell a potential partner about their diabetes on a first date, while others would rather wait a bit. When you tell others about your condition is entirely up to you.
There are some benefits to getting it out in the open early, including making planning diabetes-friendly dates easier, being able to do blood sugar checks or taking your insulin/medication without feeling you need to leave the room, and so that your date knows what to do if you have a dangerous blood sugar drop. You don't need to go into great detail initially; simply mentioning that you have type 2 diabetes and will need to check your glucose levels occasionally is a good introduction.
If you have type 2 diabetes, you may wish to connect with potential partners who also have diabetes. Some dating sites are aimed specifically at pairing people who have diabetes with each other, including:
As with any dating site, do your research before joining and be mindful of safety and security. Verywell Health has not vetted nor endorses these dating sites.
Diabetes can have an impact on sex, including the potential for erectile dysfunction, vaginitis (inflammation of the vagina), cystitis, and diminished clitoral sensation. Hypoglycemia can also occur during sex. If diabetes is impacting your sex life, talk to your healthcare provider.
Type 2 diabetes can affect both partners in a relationship, but with open communication, each person can get the support they need. Diabetes management should be kept in mind when planning dates. Choose diabetes-friendly foods when dining out, and consider incorporating physical activity into your dates.
It's a good idea to bring a diabetes kit with you when you go out that contains anything diabetes-related you might need, including your blood glucose meter, medication, and ways to raise blood sugar that is too low.
Dating with diabetes can feel intimidating for both partners, but with good communication and thoughtful planning, successful and fulfilling relationships are possible.
If your date is open to it, it's OK to ask about their diabetes. Some key things to remember include:
Ups and downs in blood sugar levels can affect your mood.
If your blood sugar is low, some emotions you may feel include:
High blood sugar can cause you to feel moods such as:
National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases. Type 2 diabetes.
Beyond Type 2. Relationships and type 2 diabetes.
diaTribe. Dating with diabetes.
Diabetes Self-Management. Dating and diabetes.
Diabetes UK. Eating out with diabetes.
Beyond Type 2. Daily type 2 diabetes kit.
Diabetes.co.uk. Diabetes and dating.
Centers For Disease Control and Prevention. Friends, family & diabetes.
Beyond Type 2. How diabetes impacts your mood.
Diabetes.co.uk. Diabetes and sex.
Heather M. Jones is a freelance writer with a strong focus on health, parenting, disability, and feminism.
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